Warehouse 13 – Secret Santa

“Secret Santa” is episode thirteen of season two of Warehouse 13 and the season finale.

In the previous episode, “Reset”, it turned out that H.G. had been running a long game with the intention of nothing less than destroying almost all of humanity by causing the Yellowstone Caldera to erupt. This had started with the death of her daughter but after she emerged from bronzing into a world that was even worse than the one she left, not the hoped for utopia, she decided enough was enough. Despite Myka managing to talk Helena down from completing this, she blamed herself for allowing H.G. to get that far in the first place and had left the Warehouse.

However, this episode opens with Myka and Pete both entering the Warehouse in winter (something Pete is not happy about, although Myka likes the holiday season more), with some narration from the pair. It seems that this is a Christmas special (and the opening titles have Christmassy bits added to them).

In Artie’s office, Claudia, with help from her brother Joshua, has gone all Christmassy. Using artefacts. Which create effects such as marshmallow snow and one which makes you sees stars without being hit. And the original mistletoe. Artie is not there – would he approve of such a frivolous use of artefacts? Claudia is looking forward to spending a holiday season with people she cares about for the first time in years, but Pete and Myka are heading home for the holidays. And it turns out that Artie is not happy with what Claudia has done. And that’s before he falls afoul of the original mistletoe.

In Los Angeles a father is video chatting with his daughter on his laptop. And working as well. It seems he can’t make it home for the holidays. After speaking to his daughter, he hears something in the house. Someone is knocking stuff over, deliberately, and breaking what look like valuable items. The man grabs a gun and goes looking, but he seems surprised by what he sees and doesn’t shoot. Finally, a ball of light disappears up the chimney, and ‘Ho, Ho, Ho!’ is heard as it disappears. Finally, the words ‘Naughty’ is carved into the wall and then catches fire.

Myka and Pete are at Leena’s leaving when Artie tells them that leave is cancelled. The police sketch of the intruder in Los Angeles is rather familiar, as it’s Santa Claus. Larry, the victim, did not get much respect from the police. He is also building a new shopping mall, and the shops in the block that is being demolished are not happy with him. Even though they are being paid. Larry does not have a high opinion of mom & pop stores. At Larry’s office, the ball of light reappears and starts trashing things before turning into a transparent Santa Claus. Who gives him an ultimatum – fix his life or his life will be taken. Larry isn’t concentrating on the important things in his life. Santa also called Larry a name that no-one had called him since he was a kid. Is this really Santa Claus? Pete certainly thinks so. Myka thinks an artefact is more likely responsible. Larry’s ex-wife is pretty mad at him, but it seems she doesn’t like the man he became after they got money. Could she be responsible, in an attempt to get her husband back? Perhaps not – Santa is Larry. Which is a little weird. How is this happening? They only have until midnight to stop Larry from dying.

Claudia wants to make Artie happy for the holidays (with Joshua and Leena’s help). By finding the piano he used to play as a child. Finding the piano turns out to be quite simple. It turns out that it’s owned by Artie’s estranged father, who hasn’t spoken to him since Artie left Julliard for the NSA. This may not be as good, at least at first, as Claudia believes. So she does some creative lying. To both Artie and his dad. Joshua is not impressed.

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