“Qpid” is episode twenty of season four of Star Trek: The Next Generation.
The Enterprise is in orbit around Tagus III and is hosting the Federation’s annual archaeology symposium. The captain is giving the keynote address and is working on it in his ready room when Troi enters and tells him the council members have been assigned quarters. The captain wants her opinion on the speech; Troi basically tells him to stop fretting about his speech and retire. When the captain enters his quarters, he spots a Risan horga’hn on the table. And then Vash, from “Captain’s Holiday”, shows herself too.
In the morning, they are having breakfast and chatting when the door goes. The captain looks utterly panicked. Dr Crusher is there; she’s sorry she’s late. The captain starts babbling to Vash and the doctor says that she and the captain often share breakfast. Vash knows; the captain told Vash all about the doctor. Dr Crusher is interested as to where. On Risa. Oh, it must have been on that vacation he went on. The doctor is surprised the captain didn’t mention Vash. Vash asks Dr Crusher if she’s free to give her a tour of the ship. She is.
They arrive in Ten Forward where the reception will be held. No, the captain doesn’t come here often; he’s a very private man. Riker comes over when Dr Crusher is elsewhere and tries a pickup line. Vash says he must be Commander Riker and apologises for interrupting, knowing his next line. No, she isn’t Betazoid; Jean-Luc does a very good imitation of him. Dr Crusher comes over and explains Cash and the captain met on Risa. Riker has also never heard of her. When Dr Crusher is called away, he takes over the tour. They end up on the bridge, where Vash tries out the captain’s chair. The captain comes out of his ready room and Vash promises to see him at the reception.
At said reception, Troi hasn’t even heard of Vash; the captain is a very private man. Vash finds Picard and says they need to talk. Why has he never mentioned her to his friends? It would be inappropriate. Vash wasn’t expecting him to share intimate details. A captain never reveals personal feelings to his crew. Is this a Starfleet regulation or something he just made up? The captain is sorry she’s upse4t. She’s sorry her being here upsets him.
The captain enters his ready room to find Q sitting in his chair. Q tells the captain to say something. He tells Q to get out of his chair. Q swaps them around. Why is Q here? Has he been banished again? No. The truth is, Q owes the captain a debt and it gnaws at him. During their last encounter, in “Deja Q”, Q would not have survived. He would have taken his own life if not for the captain. Picard admits they all make mistakes. Q wants to do so whatever the captain wishes. The captain wishes he begone. Q also offers to take him to the ruins on Tagus III – whilst they were still being used. Q does leave and afterwards the captain summons Riker. Q is here, and wants to do something nice for the captain. Riker will warn the crew.
Captain Picard heads to Vash’s quarters and is staring to apologise when he notices a map of the Tagus ruins on a PADD. Vash admits he wasn’t the only reason, but was the main one. The captain finds equipment as well. Neither will change who they are. Unfortunately, Q is listening. Q later pops up as the captain is trying to sleep. He thought the captain was more evolved. If he knew of this vulnerability, he would have used it earlier. Does the captain want Q to idly stand by whilst Vash leads him to destruction? Yes.
At the conference, the captain is giving his speech when a hat materialises on Dr Crusher’s head. Then one appears on Troi. Other members of the senior staff acquire items and finally the captain gets a Robin Hood outfit. Then they all vanish.
Q has sent them to a version of Sherwood Forest, where Robin Hood and his merry men – Worf is not a merry man – must save Maid Marian – Vash from execution. Troi is as good with a bow as Geordi is with a mandolin. Not at all. Vash, meanwhile, doesn’t play the part Q expects, much to Q’s confusion. And, later, fascination.