Star Trek: Voyager – Real Life

“Real Life” is episode twenty-two of season three of Star Trek: Voyager.

The episode opens in a house that looks like it is straight out of the 50s. There are two children and their mother; she gets the boy and girl to line up by the door to say goodbye to their father, who is ready to leave for work. The father appears, and it’s the Doctor. His family is unbelievably nice. His wife reminds him to ask one of his friends from work to come have dinner with them. When he leaves, the Doctor appears in sickbay and Kes asks how his new holofamily is. They are everything he could hope for.

Voyager is heading for a rendezvous with a seemingly friendly race known as the Vostigye. They are going to rendezvous with a space station. However, Harry can’t detect it. Then he detects something, but debris, not a space station, and Tuvok confirms thus. The materials used sound like it could have been a space station and the destruction appears to have happened in the last hour. There are no survivors, and no recognisable weapon signatures. Tom suggests weapons that don’t leave traditional signatures and the captain wants to find out who might have them and why they would destroy a science station. Harry detects plasma particles in subspace, like a wake, but it can’t be told if they are from a ship.

B’Elanna is in sickbay, checking out the Doctor. With him tinkering with his program, she likes to check up on it. Given the events of “Darkling”, that’s not surprising. She’s not faulting the Doctor’s intentions to better himself and finds it commendable. The Doctor explains that he has created a family, because they are so meaningful to others. He says it’s going splendidly and though it would be more difficult. B’Elanna would like to meet them and the Doctor invites both her and Kes to dinner.

Dinner is improbable. Everything is super sweet and the children are unbelievably talented. B’Elanna freezes the program and tells the Doctor they are not an accurate impression of a family. Kes states they are kind of perfect and B’Elanna states ridiculously perfect. No-one’s family is like that. The Doctor will not learn anything about family life. He says he provided the computer with the specifications eh would want in a real wife. B’Elanna says his premise is fine but could do with some tweaking to get closer to real life. She can help, if he wants.

The particle wake Voyager is following thins out but there’s nothing there. Then something appears, some sort of space tornado for want of a better description. It dissipates again before causing much damage. Captain Janeway thinks it could do with investigating, as none of them have seen anything like that. It appeared to be an astral eddy, a confluence of space and subspace. If they could harness the energy, that would be useful. It may be possible to anticipate the next one.

The Doctor has decided to take B’Elanna up on her suggestions and she’s added a randomised behavioural algorithm. There will be no way to predict the events. Yes, he’s sure he’s ready; he can’t imagine a parenting problem he can’t cope with and has had experience with romantic relationships. He doesn’t expect any problems. Famous last words. And is B’Elanna, someone who has certainly intimated having a less than great family life, really someone you want adjusting a family?

When the Doctor arrives home, there is loud music playing, the place is a mess, his wife is heading out to the Bolian embassy and dinner isn’t ready; it’s the Doctor’s night to cook. His daughter, Belle, can’t find her ion hammer and his son, Jeffrey, is playing Klingon music very loudly. Then two Klingon friends arrive looking for Jeffrey. The Doctor is already getting overwhelmed; his perfect family has changed a lot.

Tom is in the mess hall and isn’t enthralled at eating the same dish four days in a row, but he’s used his replicator rations. He heads to sit with B’Elanna and asks what she’s reading. Nothing important. Tom takes the pad and finds out she’s reading Women Warriors at the River of Blood. He asks B’Elanna if she’s reading a Klingon romance novel. Klingons have a romantic side; it’s just a bit more vigour opus than most. They are essentially flirting. When the ship starts shaking and another astral eddy appears, the captain summons senior staff to the bridge.

Janeway wants a probe sent into the eddy; Tom is finding this kind of fun. B’Elanna, who has just been thrown to the floor, not so much. With the data from the probe, the discussion arises as to whether they can transfer the plasma to Voyager. The eddy disappears and it seems they could possibly collect the plasma using the Bussard collectors. Voyager‘s energy emissions would disrupt it, but a shuttle could manage it. The captain tells Tom to see the Doctor for protection against radiation poisoning.

The Doctor treats Tom and mentions him flirting with danger. Given he’s flirting with B’Elanna, that’s kind of literal. This leads into a discussion about the Doctor’s family. He has analysed the situation and come up with a solution. Said solution is to inform the others that their scheduled will be rearranged and they must all make sacrifices. Only, he’s not making any. This does not work anywhere near as well as the Doctor expected. Miserable failure would be more like it.

The astral eddy, and Tom’s mission to it not going exactly according to plan, are the minor story strand of this episode. The main one is the Doctor’s holofamily. He experiences family life to a degree he never expected, and it affects him. Especially as family life can have good and bad.

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