Red Dwarf XII – Cured

“Cured” is episode one of Red Dwarf XII.

The Cat, Lister and Rimmer are playing poker. For matchsticks only; Rimmer is not putting his back issues of Morris Dancer Monthly into the pot. Probably a relief that. Cat may not know how to play poker properly. Although the way he plays does guarantee he wins, so maybe he does know how to play. So Lister deals again, the proper way. Cat does not know how to bluff though.

The game gets interrupted when Kryten says that they have picked up an SSL, so they set off in Starbug 1. Which doesn’t seem to be starting as easily as it once did. Think a couple of decades old second hand car. They are heading for a moon base, a United America research station. United America came about in the 23rd century in a rather complicated war against war. Starbug 1 is definitely the worse for wear, so Rimmer hopes they will be able to pick up some spare parts for it, and get it to work properly again.

The Dwarfers end up stuck on the base when a sandstorm rolls in. The base was working on a cure for evil (might not be good for Rimmer if they were successful). Lister doesn’t believe in evil, he just thinks that some people are simply bonkers.

So, who did the scientists test their cure on? The place is full of cryobooths, full of many people who have apparently been cured. People like Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin and Vlad the Impala (aka Dracula). All these people are supposed to be dead, historical personages. The famous psychopaths were apparently reconstructed from their descendants using their DNA.

All the cryobooths are empty, and all the cured descendants are out. There’s only one scientist left and the researchers, and their patients, were marooned on the moon because the cure worked, which would have cost money. According to the last scientist, all of his patients have been cured for centuries. It all sounds very rosy. So, of course, there are bound to be problems. Even if Lister ends up jamming with Hitler.

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